


and it only hit me today

by outlawslikeus



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canon Era, Character Study, French, Friendship, Gen, Introspection, Not Beta Read, Passion, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2020-08-22
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:22:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26041864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/outlawslikeus/pseuds/outlawslikeus
Summary: Brooke starts studying French because of Jeremy. Then, she signs up for French the spring semester of her sophomore year of high school.
Relationships: Brooke Lohst & Chloe Valentine, Brooke Lohst/Jenna Rolan (implied), Jeremy Heere & Brooke Lohst
Kudos: 13





	and it only hit me today

**Author's Note:**

> Title from [Drugstore by Lauren Marcus](https://youtu.be/w3Hr024Hz9w). Not at all related to this fic but I love Lauren very much.

When she first stumbles through some basic French words, trying to get her mouth to form the right shapes and make the right noises, it's because she wants to impress Jeremy. For as long as she could remember, no one had ever looked at her twice at when she was standing next to Chloe.

She remembers the first time she met her boyfriend—her _ex_ -boyfriend, she reminds herself—he had been flirting with Chloe as she stood there and watched them. Chloe had none too gently shot him down eventually, and it was only then that his attention turned to her. She had tried not to let that bother her—after all, she can understand herself why someone would want Chloe over her, and he came around to her eventually, right? But despite the reassurances she tells herself, she can’t help the insecurity that creeps into her heart when she’s had a bad day or when he hasn’t replied to one of her texts in just a bit too long. In retrospect, it should have shocked her less when she came over to surprise him for his birthday and found him in bed with another girl, but she’s never wanted to assume the worst of people. _Maybe_ , she thinks, _I’ll start_ , as she sits in her mom’s car and cries on the phone with Chloe.

So when Jeremy greets her at the mall and even tells her she looks sexy, she’s beyond flattered. She wants to ask him _but don’t you see Chloe right there? And she’s single for the first time in ages. She’s any guy’s dream, so why are you talking to me?_ She learns that he’s been cheated on too and that’s a connection she hopes never to have with another person since it would mean they were cheated on too, but one she’s glad she has with this guy if it had to happen at all.

She looks closer at Jeremy. He’s cute, not hot like her ex. _Good_. She doesn’t need another hot, callous guy just looking to string her along and use her. She hasn’t known him for long but he’s got a kind and a bit naive of a personality—like her, she thinks. They could be good for each other, find comfort in shared experiences and try to ease the pain a bit. Chloe no longer cares to hear about her ex because she’s too focused on her own, which she understands, but she misses being able to talk to her best friend about it.

French is decidedly _not_ an easy language, and she’s never been that good in school, but she knows she can make up for her lack of natural smarts with effort. Her parents get her French textbooks, excited at the prospect of her being excited over anything—she’s kind of been sad (not depressed, she isn’t depressed because she’s _normal_ ) ever since being cheated on and this is the first thing she’s gotten pumped about since then. Her dad even gets her a cute beret (pink with a yellow heart pattern) she sees online and she wears it that very next day to school. Jeremy compliments it and her heart soars.

She downloads apps on her phone to help her study (she thinks the owl is cute and doesn’t understand why everyone is scared of it) and even once or twice she tells Chloe she’s too busy to go out that afternoon. She gets into the habit of studying French for an hour or two every night after her actual homework and finds that it’s relaxing. She doesn’t have any _actual_ deadlines she has to meet unlike in her classes. They’re all self-appointed and she’s already very impressed at how much she’s learned on her own.

When they finally break apart for air, her hand still in his hair, Jeremy asks her why she likes him and she’s surprised for a moment. _Is it not obvious?_ Still, she tells him how much she appreciates that he had taken the time to look at her, too, and he even completes her thought with his gaming term (she had come over once and he had introduced her to the frustrating but incredibly fun world of _Super Mario Bros._ , where she had played the little green player two; it had been one of her favorite afternoons in a long time).

After that afternoon, she and Jeremy are pretty official, and she’s the happiest— _la plus heureuse_ —she’s been in a long while. She’ll put a hand around his waist and he’ll blush and she’s so sure that he’ll never hurt her, until he does.

When she gets home, still tispy and in her uncomfortably tight costume, cries and cries and berates herself for letting this happen again and _how could I be so stupid—stupide, I’m so stupid, I’m just stupid, ditzy Brooke who isn’t good enough, that’s why they all keep cheating on me._ She throws her French textbook across the room and it hits the wall with a loud thud. It’s not as satisfying as she hoped it’d be.

She walks onto the stage the night of the play, and she thinks she understands why so many people love this. It’s a bit addicting, to immerse herself in this far off world, where Rich isn’t hospitalized, Jake’s legs aren’t broken, and she isn’t broken.

Mr. Reyes hands her the serum. She drinks and hears a voice and her world is perfect— _parfaite_ —again.

When she wakes up again to a faint headache next to her fellow cast members, it’s all she can do to stop herself from uncontrollably crying. That’s exactly what she ends up doing as they all hug it out on stage to the roar of an applauding audience.

Jeremy spends a week in the hospital, unconscious from what she hears. In that time, she visits him once, with the rest of the cast. She and Jenna stop by a supermarket after school to buy a bouquet of flowers— _fleurs_ —to leave at his bedside. She finds that she understands why he did what he did, not that she thinks it was a good idea or that she isn’t still hurt and angry about it, but it’s easier to understand him now that she knows why. The fact that he still looks so damn innocent, asleep in a hospital bed, doesn’t hurt either.

Because the rest of the weekend’s run got cancelled, their closing night party also does too. Jenna still ends up at her house that afternoon. She picks up the French textbook from where it sits on the floor and holds it up. Brooke laughs and tells her all about how she had been learning French for Jeremy, but she finds even as she’s laughing that she misses it (and the owl on her phone has gotten pretty scary now that she hasn’t used it in a few days). Jenna, always observant, must notice something in her face because she asks more about the language, and soon Brooke is telling her all about how annoying numbers are in French. 

She’s just finished explaining how eighty in French is four twenties when Jenna points out that if she likes the language that much, she should continue studying it. She hasn’t even considered this before now—French had always been something she was doing because of Jeremy, but the more she thinks about it, the more she realizes that she _does_ want to learn more regardless of anyone else.

A few weeks later, when they get their forms to fill out for what classes they want to take in the spring, she puts down _Honors French I_ , as her foreign language requirement that she’s been putting off. It’s also the first honors class she’s taking at all in school, and Jenna gives her a wink and a high five as she’s on her way to drop off the form at the counselor’s desk.

The afternoon after the school year ends, their friend group has a small get together to celebrate the end of school for the year. Brooke pulls out her report card from her backpack with pride, showing off the A+ she got in the class (and the not too shabby grades in the rest of them). Jeremy lets out a loud whoop and applauds. Jake throws a fist in the air in excitement. Christine starts doing jazz hands at the paper and soon everyone else joins in, all laughing and cheering for her. She leans into Jenna’s side and smiles, happy, proud, and content.

**Author's Note:**

> Brooke deserves more love!
> 
> Unbetad, so let me know about any spelling/grammar mistakes. Kudos, comments, concrit, feedback, anything you dis/liked, etcetera are appreciated. Drop your favorite line or something in the comments. Also, all the French was done through Google translate so if you happen to know French and know it's incorrect let me know how I can fix it!
> 
> Follow me at [outlawslikeus](https://outlawslikeus.tumblr.com) on tumblr.


End file.
